Sometimes being single in our society has a negative spin. To some, It’s almost like having a rash or some terrible disease. So let’s be clear, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING SINGLE! In fact, single people may have an advantage when it comes to creating success.
Please bear with me for a moment while I set a little context to this topic. Creating high levels of success will always require the support of others. If you look at any great success story, you will always see how others supported those people in creating and living their vision. We can create great things when we are in alignment, however, we will never reach the highest levels of success without the support of others and it all starts with INDIVIDUAL ALIGNMENT. We must first be in alignment with ourselves before we can create it with others.
Single People Have an Advantage
The law of attraction says that “like attracts like” so it only makes sense that you have to work on you first before you can create aligned support from others. Please take this in context but I believe it’s much easier for single people to create alignment for themselves because they lack a lot of the distractions that married people have. They simply have somewhat of an advantage without the outside influences.
Who Are You Really?
As a results coach, one of the first assignments I give my clients is to define “who they REALLY are.” I want to see how my clients view themselves and the value of that relationship. In other words, what is their relationship with themselves and how do they use that to leverage success. Most people associate their relationship with themselves based on the results they have created and the relationships they have with significant others. I don’t mean to say that single people don’t have relationships but what I do notice is that they don’t usually associate “who they are” with their relationships and typically have a more secure and healthy relationship with themselves as a result. So let me just ask and please, think about this. WHO ARE YOU REALLY?
How Is Your Relationship With Yourself?
You see, your level of success can be measured by the level of relationship you have with yourself. When you have a healthy relationship with yourself, creating success is easier. All the hangups and negative behaviors drop away. There is no need to prove yourself or worry what others are thinking about you. You “attract” healthy business and personal relationships because you have a healthy relationship with yourself. The list of healthy attractions is huge because of how you view yourself. Your work ethic and energy are also increased because of a greater sense of self. Again, all this is highlighted when you are focusing on yourself and not the outside influences. I don’t mean you should be self-centered but the only thing we can change is ourselves and if you want to grow and create bigger results, you have to focus on you.
What Really Motivates You?
Now, let me show you how this works. I want you to think about what motivates you. Typically when I ask that question I get answers like; money, travel, cars, sex, time with friends, relaxing etc. People get revved up over a variety of things but the truth is none of those things has the power to motivate. If those things had the power to motivate, they would motivate everyone and they don’t. You may like cars and how you feel when you buy one but that is not what’s causing the motivation and not everyone loves cars. We are conditioned by our feelings and our culture to believe that our results motivate but it’s simply not the truth. In fact, we generate the results we want when we are motivated and not the other way around.
How Do I Increase Motivation?
So what is the source of our motivation? Our motivation is driven by our self esteem or our self estimate. In other words our relationship with ourselves. When our self esteem is high, we are driven to do more of what it takes to create the results we want. Typically when we feel like crap, we don’t feel like doing anything and we do less and create less success. You may be able to power through for a while but I can pretty much guarantee that when you are down for a period of time, your drive diminishes.
How Do I Raise My Self Esteem?
Our self esteem is directly connected to two things. First is our relationship with our word. Second is being in line with our innate values or “who we really are.” When we are keeping our word with ourselves and others and we are in alignment with our values, our self esteem rises and we feel better about ourselves. We then feel more motivated and we do more of what it takes to create success and we get bigger results. The opposite occurs when we don’t keep our word and/or are living out of alignment with “who we really are.” Raising your self esteem and thus your motivation is easy, give and keep your word to yourself and others and stay in alignment with who you really are.
Creating bigger results than you ever have before starts with working on YOU first. It may seem selfish but it’s really not. We have no power to change the weather, traffic or anyone else so we must change ourselves if we want something bigger. Eliminating all the distractions that interfere with that is not always possible, especially if those distractions involve other people. If you are single, now is the perfect time to work on you because you simply have less distractions from others.
